Brainbent

We're all mad here.

Posts tagged eridan

31 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey Eridan, did you hear back from your therapist on the borderline/avoidant comorbidity thing? I'm curious because that really sounds like a friend of mine. They're also autistic, so maybe that screening's not a crock after all. I hear you on the media blaming it for kids acting out, and not reporting on the bullying and whatnot, but it's still worth knowing, right?

cA: yeah wwe talked about it last wwednesday

cA: bunch a guff about howw the exact diagnosis isnt wwhat the doc is all about especially wwith my age to be considered but wwould it make me feel better to havve it all explained

cA: and i said i guess it wwould 

cA: so he says theres another name for it wwhen you fit some parts a more than one personality disorder

cA: just personality disorder not otherwwise specified wwith blah blah and blah blah features apparently

cA: fill in the blah blahs wwith wwhatevver your other doctors put on the paperwwork originally

cA: theres evven a little number for it but i forget

aG: 301.9, 8roseph. How far are you even gonna get if you don’t learn your 8asic shit?

cA: hey vvris when exactly did pyrope die and make you the head shrink around here because im pretty sure i saw her tappin dowwn the hallwway not twwo hours ago

aG: Oh please, it’s 8asic survival in the system.

cA: wwhatevver

aG: You 8etter learn the game fast, kid, or it will chew you up and sh8 you out.

cA: wwhat game

aG: The only game there is. Staying safe in a crazy-ass world full of losers staring at walls. You’re looking at the master.

cA: uh

cA: huh

cA: So now you got your shiny new pdnos you wanna join the Cool Kids Club, right? ::::D

cA: wwhy wwould i wwant to be in a club wwith you or anyone like you

aG: F8NE!!!!!!!! Invitation rescinded. Go 8ack to plying dirty n8cho with the rest of the ree-rees in 8a8y 8onnet row. Just d8n’t come crying to me l8r when no8ody else g8s you and they tr8 you l8ke complete sh8.

cA: first off

cA: like i care wwhat anybody thinks a me

cA: and second youre the wworst person in here so wwhy wwould i go to you for anythin but a headache that lasts all day

aG: Wwah, wwah, wwah!!!!!!!! I’m gone.

cA: 8itch

148 notes

Eridan: Panic

cA: no i said too much im gonna delete that

cA: howw the fuck do you delete an email

cA: sol help me wwith somethin real quick

tA: what, me?

cA: no the other eyesore wwho shavved exactly half his fuckin face and quit

tA: got bored wiith iit, fuck you

tA: what do you want, ii haven’t even had my coffee yet.

cA: howw do you delete an email after you sent it

tA: ha2 iit been over ten 2econd2 2iince you 2ent iit

cA: yeah

tA: ii hope iit wa2n’t naked piicture2 then becau2e that 2hiip ha2 2aiiled, lol.

cA: oh god oh god

tA: what wa2 iit, you’re kiilliing me here.

cA: i sort a got upset and ranted about some really personal things to someone i barely fuckin knoww 

cA: like resentments and anger and wwhatnot

cA: wwhat wwas i thinkin

tA: ii am 2o not caffeiinated enough two deal wiith thii2 riight now.

cA: theyre gonna think im a wwhiny pussy

tA: well, iif ii may poiint out—

cA: goddamn it sol wwould it kill you to not make flippant fuckin remarks at my expense wwhen im clearly in pain

tA: ehehe, no, probably not.

tA: ii wiill take thii2 bullet for you, but only once.

tA: becau2e ii under2tand what iit ii2 two be 2pattered iin the foul 2pray of one’2 own uncontrollable emotiional diiarrhea.

tA: wa2 iit really that bad?

cA: i dont evven knoww i just felt so shitty for sayin it as soon as i hit the button

tA: can ii offer you 2ome word2 of wii2dom that help me exactly half the tiime?

cA: sure

tA: fuck iit. that ii2 all. just, fuck iit.

cA: wwoww sol thats profound you should wwrite self help books

tA: hey iif we’re doiing iin2ult2 after all ii can ab2olutely go back two that, but ii of all people know poiintle22 2elf-loathiing wank when ii 2ee iit.

tA: and ii say agaiin: FUCK IIT.

tA: 2o you’re the weiirdo who 2end2 awkward emaiil2, on top of everythiing el2e that make2 you weiird?

tA: fiine, then. that’2 you, and you’ll liive. fuck iit.

cA: fuck it huh

cA: easy for you to say

tA: ye2, 2o ea2y.

tA: from the liip2 of one who ha2 been naked iin traffiic on two dii2tiinct occa2iion2 to your 2hell-liike ear

tA: 2o come2 my completely unearned pronouncement of ultiimate embarra22ment 2urviival.

cA: wwhat 

cA: twwice?

tA: and who al2o once deciided he wa2 iin harry potter, except for real, and told everybody about iit.

cA: oh my god

tA: above the age of twelve, ii miight add.

cA: okay maybe you knoww wwhere im coming fr—

tA: and hacked a government web2iite lookiing for proof of contact wiith aliien2, you wouldn’t beliieve me iif ii told you whiich one but iit wa2 on the new2.

cA: did you find any

tA: no more than the u2ual.

tA: and ii have had 2ex wiith a lot of uh, not partiicularly advii2able partner2, let’2 ju2t leave iit at that.

cA: little hint maybe

tA: there wa2 a full-body snow leopard outfiit iinvolved ED plea2e don’t make me reliive iit.

cA: the fuck

tA: look my poiint ii2, you wiill liive, and after you don’t diie from the 2hame, you wiill have one le22 thiing to be afraiid of. 2o, fuck iit.

cA: huh

cA: fuck it

tA: ye2, gra22hopper.

cA: FUCK it

tA: good, now ju2t repeat iit every hour on the hour for the next 2eventy year2 or 2o and all wiill be well.

tA: can ii go iinhale my coffee now?

cA: yeah thats cool

cA: and then shavve the rest a your face its like moldy lookin and naff as fuck

tA: ok, mom.

cA: uh sol

tA: what.

cA: just

cA: snoww leopards

tA: FUCK IIT.

71 notes

thegrimsqueaker asked: What's Eridan's diagnosis?

cA: oh ivve been collectin them like fuckin first edition magic cards

cA: wwhen i first got evvaluated they talked about borderline personality disorder wwith depression an anxiety

cA: but then i came here and wwvv started sayin it wwasnt just that and howw i scored through the roof on avvoidance and yeah okay i can see his point on that one it sounds like me and i wwas bullied a lot wwhen i wwas little

cA: i got a stutter as you wwere bein polite enough to not mention

cA: wwhich is wwhy i decided to answwer you instead a just tellin you to eat shit like wwith the rest a these gossip starvved assholes

cA: can you havve both a those things

cA: like both borderline and avvoidant personalities at the same time

cA: i should ask

cA: the doc and me only just got to talkin about stuff instead a just sittin around wwith me readin him my poetry and vvarious other activvities that arent anybodys bloody business but mine 

cA: another thing is i havve to go get screened for fuckin autism in a month wwhich is a complete crock if you ask me

cA: wwhich the grand sum a zero people outside my treatment team does and theyre not the ones payin for the tests

cA: see its all about tactics and CYA strategies wwith the old man

cA: a rock solid alibi in the parentin department wwill come in handy in the evvent i lose it and wwaste some people and theres suddenly cameras and microphones gettin shoved in his face wwith people askin questions

cA: i dont need it spelled out for me howw its fuckin open season on shy loners since those latest twwo neckbeard losers wwent and sperged out and shot a bunch a people

cA: i knoww that the same wway i alwways knoww wwhen another ones happened cause evverybody gets all quiet wwhen i showw my face around this place

cA: except gam on account a he doesnt wwatch the swwill that passes for newws in this hellhole country

cA: but wwe wwill get that autism shit checked out by god and if i come up positivve WWELP its nobodys fault then is it

cA: ass covvered so evveryone wwill focus on askin wwhether people like me should be allowwed around guns or not instead a wwhat wwent wwrong at home

cA: did i mention i havve major goddamn depression issues

cA: yeah i did

cA: HMM i WWONDER WWHY

cA: none a my diagnoses are solid but my attorney says they havve to put somethin on the paperwwork or the insurance wwont covver the cost a my treatment and keepin a kid in this place is ungodly fuckin expensivve

cA: as a certain postcard from majorca took pains to remind me this wweek

cA: somethin somethin gratitude is an attitude lovve dad an his latest piece a ass

cA: last time i wwas here i read some a that book they diagnose people from

cA: i wwanted to see wwhat it meant to havve a personality disorder

cA: like if you got one do you havve be like that forevver

cA: wwhat a wwaste a good trees there wwasnt shit in there

cA: youd think by the fifth edition a the most upright respectable manual in the field theyd have had time to figure out the answwer to a simple question like wwhen shit gets better

cA: wwhats the diagnosis number for screww evverything and evveryone

cA: i wwant that one in my permanent record

21 notes

Anonymous asked: Hi Eridan! How do you feel about Ms. Peixes?

cA: i dont even fuckin knoww wwhere these rumors get started but they followw me around this place like a personal cloud a histrionic wwhispers

cA: okay listen up good

cA: let me tell you a thing straight out and maybe these gossippy little housewwivves wwill get a clue wwhile theyre ovver there eavvesdroppin

cA: there wwas nevver anything betwween me an peixes as you should knoww seein as howw itd be fuckin unprofessional for a lady a her age to be chasin a high schooler

cA: but if there wwas any kind a unrequited situation goin on from either direction id be totally ovver it by now

cA: theres plenty other fish in the sea evven if youre locked up i wwould like to make that perfectly clear

cA: like that hot skater girl wwho comes around tuesdays an fridays

cA: i seen her givvin me the eye at least three times noww and captor says hes gonna introduce us since he knowws her from school

cA: i think wwe got chemistry together like shes a gamer and a jock and im a wwriter type thats a good balance a traits for a relationship and shes pretty easy on the eyes i gotta admit

cA: in conclusion me and fef arent a thing but if you check back later you might get an earful a romance

cA: got it

cA: ok good noww fuck off im wworkin on a complicated dramatic scene here

141 notes

Be Eridan.

You don’t want to be Eridan. Eridan does not want to be Eridan.

…You screw up the last six pages of your fifth attempt at Nano. It’s, what. The twenty-first. You still have time. You still have time, you always work best under a fucking deadline, it’s a sign of true genius as everybody knows. If only you weren’t in this fascist snake pit you could be doing this on your god damn macbook instead of in one of those dumbass marble-covered notebooks you used to have to use in the sixth grade, they won’t even give you a spiral-bound cause ooh, you might get it into your fucked-up little head to do yourself a mischief with the fucking wire and their shitty-ass computer lab is full of PEOPLE and you can’t concentrate there but nobody told you that writing fifty fucking thousand words by hand fucking hurts. Maybe you have carpal tunnel. You probably have carpal tunnel. Your life is pain.

You still have time. You can totally get your mystic prince out of the hole you’ve written him into.

You pick up your purple pencil again and scrawl ROCKS FALL EVVERYBODY DIES so hard the tip breaks, and then just drop your face into your hands and moan at the unfairness of the universe.

 

469 notes

Because of growing up with a narcissist, you’re used to being criticized to death, and for the tiniest thing, so when you graduate from your university and get a job, it may hurt to hear negative feedback about your work. Because you’ve never experienced healthy, well-intentioned and helpful input from others about how you’re doing, you only associate feedback with hatred and oppression and shame and rejection and attempts to violate your sensibilities - your dignity - your humanity. Feedback was always to make you the bad one - the wrong one.

Other people — people whose parents were not narcissistic - give their children positive reinforcement and supportive feedback. Those people have learned to associate feedback with assistance - with helpful kindness. They won’t go to “crazy-land” like you will when they get their performance review. They will feel helped. You will feel attacked. They will feel curious. You will feel inadequate. They will feel openness. You will feel fear. They will say, “Thank you, I’ll work on that”. You will go home and cry.

And you probably do the only thing you’ve ever seen people do when they’re criticized - you get defensive and criticize right back. You have to, right? The person must be out to get you - that’s what feedback IS - a personal attack!

FLEAS, FLEAS, FLEAS!

This is a really great article about how being parented by disordered people influences your behavior even after you’ve left crazyland—like you’ve picked up a case of fleas that you just can’t shake.

(via vastderp)

[Reblogging this for resources, and also because it applies to Rose, Dave, Eridan and Tavros, all of whom grew up with at least one intrusive and disordered parent.]

(Source: vastderp-placeholder)

6 notes

A Knight’s Triumph- Eridan

Here it is: http://www.mediafire.com/folder/g37pt6zdobb5p/A_Knight’s_Triumph-Eridan

I made this quick, crappy fanmix when I heard you were edged out by Christopher “Star Wars NOT IN SPACE” Paolini. That’s bullcrap and we both know it. He’s a hack. Thus, I have provided you some music samples I hope can act as inspiration, if they are to your discerning taste. When choosing them, I imagined great heroes fighting against impossible odds and cruel demons being dueled for the fate of a world.

236 notes

centrumlumina:

Approximately forever ago, I tried my hand at making a Brainbent fanart to Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne. It’s been abandoned for months, but I thought I’d post as much as I managed.

I can’t remember what drawings I had planned for each character, but the colours let you know who went where.

81 notes

Anonymous asked: Happy pancake day! It’s also check in day, so how is everyone feeling?

AT: gOOD MORNING ANON, i’M DOING OKAY, sORT OF SLEEPY STILL, hAHA„,

CA: pancakes are the uncultured cousins a the glorious wwaffle

CA: i aint surprised you bunch a lowwlifes get all excited about em

TC: Aw C’mOn MaN pAnCaKeS aRe ThE ShIt!

CA: wwhy cant wwe havve crepes instead

TC: Oh HeY iT’s BeEn FuCkIn FoReVeR sInCe I wEnT aNd FlIpPeD uP sOmE cRePeS. aDd On SoMe WhIp CrEaM aNd BlAcKbErRiEs, AwWw YeEeEeAh.

AC: XOO < youre both wrong bacon is where its at!

TG: uuggh normally id agree but i swear to god if i ingest any more of this stuff ill be dead of a heart attack at fifteen

TG: hey nep do you want the rest of this please save my nubile young arteries

AC: :33 < Y333333S! GIMMIE!!

AC: :33 < i’m good anon!! kanyanya is going to teach me and gamz33 how to do makeup art this afternoon and now i have BACON

TC: FuCk YeAh! :oD

GA: I’m Excited Too Its Been Too Long Since Ive Played With Cosmetics

GA: I Am Doing Well Anon

GA: I Woke Up Early And Did Some Weeding In The Garden And Had A Nice Shower

CC: It’s looking R—-EALLY good out there Kanaya, t)(ank you so much! 38)

GA: Its My Pleasure

TT: mmmgh thunung ut fthagn

GA: I Think Rose Is Finally Booting Up

TT: bluuh

CG: I PLEAD THE FIFTH. 

TC: … BrO. 

TC: C’MoN bRo.

CG: NO SHUT UP GAMZEE I HAVE NOT HAD ENOUGH SHITTY ASHTRAY COFFEE TO WARRANT TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS.

TC: AwWw YoU wAnT mE tO GrAb YoU aNoThEr CuP?

CG: … OKAY FINE. THANKS.

EB: i’m good! sollux saved my life this morning!

TA: oh ii diid not

EB: you totally did! there was an enormous hairy spider in the mens shower. i thought it was a big hair clot at first.

EB: then it moved. D: 

TA: all ii diid was put iit out2iide dude calm down

EB: no I owe you a life debt! 

TA: oh my god

TG: are you seriously passing up an opportunity to have your roomie be your personal butler

TA: ye2

TA: JN you can pay me back by never 2creamiing liike that agaiin

TA: my ear2 are stiill riingiing

114 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey all! Did anything happen on April Fool’s day?

CG: HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID THE MONTH GO???

CG: OH, I REMEMBER NOW. I HAD TO HAVE A LONG LIE DOWN OVER THE FACT THAT IT TOOK UNTIL ***APRIL 26TH*** FOR IT TO FINALLY STOP SNOWING.

CG: CG: FUCK YOU, MINNESOTA. 

CG: ANYWAY, BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND:

CG: OH, ANON.

CG: ANON, ANON, ANON.

CG: THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING IS WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN ON APRIL FOOL’S DAY.

CG: GATHER ROUND, MY FOUL LITTLE GRAYFACED GRUBLINGS, AND I WILL DESCRIBE TO YOU A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF ANNOYING SURPRISES, A DAY WHEREIN NEW DELIGHTS UNFOLDED LIKE OBNOXIOUS, MANKY FLOWERS.

CG: A DAY IN WHICH MY RAGE VOMIT FLOWED LIKE A MIGHTY RIVER DOWN ST. LOBAF’S HALLWAYS.

EB: karkat ew!

CG: SHUT UP.

CG: AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED, EVERYONE’S FAVORITE FOUR-EYED BUCKTOOTHED PRANK WEASEL WENT ALL OUT. RED FOOD COLORING IN THE SOAP DISPENSERS. FUCKING WALL TO WALL DIXIE CUPS FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH WATER IN THE MENS ROOM. HUNDREDS OF BALLOONS CRAMMED INTO THE LADIES ROOM. HE MUST HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR MONTHS. 

CG: I’M SURE HE HAD A GRAND TIME JERKING OFF TO THE THOUGHT OF HIS PRANKSTER’S GAMBIT BEING IN THE HIGH MILLIONS WHILE HE CLEANED EVERYTHING UP.

EB: hahaha i wouldn’t do that in the ladies room!

CG: YOU LITTLE SHITGIGGLE. WAS IT YOU WHO GOT STRIDER TOO? IT WAS YOU, WASN’T IT. 

EB: hehehehe.

CG: I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN. YEEES, ANON, THIS DELUGE OF BULLSHIT BEGAN WHEN I WOKE TO DISCOVER DAVE’S SHADES HAD GONE TRAGICALLY AWOL IN THE NIGHT.

CG: BUT SOME GENEROUS SOUL DECIDED TO HELP A BROTHER OUT! FOR THERE, ON DAVE’S DRESSER, SAT A PAIR OF SPARKLY PURPLE STAR-SHAPED ELTON JOHN NOVELTY SUNGLASSES!

CG: AND OF COURSE DAVE WORE THEM ALL DAY LIKE NOTHING WAS OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

GA: I Saw Him Later With A Penis Drawn On His Forehead In Sharpie Marker

GA: When I Asked Who Did It He Whispered That He Was The Artist

GA: It Was Him

GA: With The Aim To Trick Everyone Into Thinking That Poor Dave Got Drawn On In His Sleep

GA: But Then Ms. Peixes Made Him Wash It Off With Her Makeup Remover

CG: PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS CHALLENGING TAVROS’ ROLE AS THE GAYEST PERSON IN THE ROOM.

CG: ANYWAY. EGBERT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE DESERVING OF MY WRATH. TAKE, FOR INSTANCE, YOUR ROOMMATE, THE INCREDIBLE TALKING DICKPIMPLE.

EB: eww

TA: ii dont know what youre talkiing about, KK.

CG: OH FUCK YOU, I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO PUT THE “LEAKED” MIDNIGHT CREW CD ON MY PILLOW.

CG: IMAGINE MY WONDERMENT WHEN I DISCOVERED IT CONTAINED THE DULCET TONES OF REBECCA BLACK.

CG: ***IT WAS SEVENTY-NINE REPETITIONS OF THE SAME FUCKING SONG.***

TA: ehehehe kiickiin iin the front 2eat.

CG: ASSLESS MC-CHAPS HERE ALSO DECIDED IT WOULD BE FUCKING HIL-HAIRY-ASS TO FUCK WITH ALL THE COMPUTERS. 

CG: IT WASN’T ENOUGH THAT ALL THE DESKTOPS WERE PICTURES OF NIC CAGE IN VARIOUS LASCIVIOUS POSES, OH NO. THESE DESKTOPS WERE ACTUALLY SCREENCAPS OF THE DESKTOPS, WITH ALL THE ICONS MYSTERIOUSLY HIDDEN.  

CG: MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES BRO!

TA: yeah your face wa2 pretty priicele22.

CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

CG: THE INFURIATING THING IS I MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IGNORE THE IDIOCY TWINS AND FORGET ABOUT APRIL 1ST ALTOGETHER IF THE FUCKING STAFF HADN’T GOTTEN IN ON IT TOO.

CG: WV WORE PEPTOL BISMOL PINK FROM HEAD TO TOE AND PRETENDED TO BE PERPLEXED WHEN ANYONE ASKED HIM WHY HE WASN’T WEARING GREEN.

TC: hEhEhEH I tHoUgHt ThAt WaS fUcKiN fUnNy.

CG: WELL, YOU WOULD.

GA: I Saw Feferi Show Up Wearing Old Denim Overalls And A Flannel Shirt

GA: She Said Shed Switched Jobs With The Janitor

AT: dOCTOR pYROPE WAS OVERHEARD, cALLING THE ENTIRE AFFAIR, “AMATEUR HOUR”,

CG: YEAH, FUNNY THING ABOUT THAT. WE SPENT ALL FUCKING DAY WAITING FOR THE CACKLING RAINBOW TONGUE APOCALYPSE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

TT: Maybe she wanted us to do the pranking for her.

CG: I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED.

CG: BY THE WAY, ROSE, WHEN IS THE BABY DUE?

CG: I WONDER IF IT WILL HAVE MARYAM’S EYES.

TT: I imagine Mother will be thrilled either way.

GA: Did You Really Tell Your Mother You Were Pregnant Oh My God

TT: Haha, no, don’t worry.

CG: HOW MANY FUCKING PEOPLE ENDED UP PREGNANT YESTERDAY ANYWAY?

TT: Mr. Nitram, I recall you mentioning you were going to marry a woman who was pregnant.

EB: hahah, and then he pulled out this little egg that Davesprite laid!

AT: hEHE, yEAH, iT WAS A LEFTOVER EASTER EGG,

AT: aLSO, i THINK YOU MEAN PETUNIA, nOT DAVEPSPRITE,

EB: nope! davesprite forever!

TG: i dont know about you but im finding this whole egg laying conversation to be kind of fucking disturbing

CG: WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE.

TG: ninja

CG: RRRGGGHHH.

TG: you should look on the bright side man

TG: at least nobody got hardcore pranked

TA: ehehe yeah none of you can top la2t year, AA told me 2he wa2 donatiing her haiir two lock2 of love.

TA: ii 2till haven’t recovered.

TA: and ii never wiill.

TG: yeah well this daycare shit aint nothin compared to april 1st at house strider

TG: year before last i woke up next to a blow up doll

TG: it was dick fucking cheney

TG: bro taped a note to his abs that said “today you become a man”

GG: D:

AT: D:{

EB: D:

TC: Do:

AC: :33 < DD:

CG: OH MY GOD.

TG: yep

CG: YEAH THANK GOD NOTHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED.

CG: I COULD STILL STRANGLE VRISKA THOUGH.

TG: oh god what did she do

CG: NEPETA, YOU SHOULD TELL THIS ONE.

AC: XOO < RRRGGGHHHH

AC: :(( she told me at breakfast that grumpy cat got hit by a car

TG: what

AC: :(( < she said the whole internet was in an uproar about it

AC: :(( < i was really upset!

AC: :(( < and then she started laughing and i got MAD

AC: :(( < and gamz33 gave her a really dirty look

AC: :(( < and she said “oh my god lighten up can’t you take a joke?!” and stormed off

GG: >:O

TA: what a biitch

GA: Yeah That Was Just Mean

AC: :// < she hasn’t purrought it up since

CG: TYPICAL.

EB: i, uh…

EB: so what other cool pranks got pulled?

TC: HeHeH yOu ShOuLd TeLl Em WhAt JaDe WeNt AnD dId.

CG: OH GOOOOD.

CG: AT LUNCH, I FOUND GAMZEE WANDERING AROUND WITH A CONFUSED EXPRESSION AND A BIT OF PAPER TAPED TO HIS BACK THAT READ “clap if you think i’m way too tall!! XD XD XD” 

CG: THEN HE SITS NEXT TO ME AND FROWNS AND SAYS “WHY’S EVERYBODY ALL APPLAUDING ME, BRO?”

GG: LOL!

GG: he noogied the hell out of me!

TC: i SuRe DiD. >:oD

TT: And then Equius had to pull you two giggling sillies apart and give you a lecture.

TT: While wearing a blue wig with pigtails.

AC:  :33 < h33h33 I wore that same wig in my nyan cat outfit!

TC: MoThErFuCk, MaN, iT wAs LiKe TrYiN nOt To LaUgH iN cHuRcH oR sOmE sHiT.

GG: oh god i knoooow

GG: i thought i was going to explode!

TC: YeAh I wAs TeLlIn ErIdAn AbOuT tHaT sHiT aNd He WaS aLl KiNdS oF pIsSy AbOuT iT, hAhA. tHaT pOoR mOtHeRfUcKeR sUrE dOeS hAtE aPrIl FoOlS dAy, I dOn’t ThInK hE eVeN cAmE oUt Of HiS rOoM.

CG: OH, THE POOR BUTTON.

CG: SO YEAH, ANON, THERE YOU HAVE IT. THE WHOLE SORDID STORY.

CG: I HOPE OUR SUFFERING AMUSED YOU.

EB: hehehehe

TA: ehehehe

EB: hey karkat

EB: hey karkat

CG: WHAT.

EB: you should look out the window right now

CG: WHAT? WHY SHOULD— OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

5 notes

Reader Contrib: Eridan - Losing Touch

It starts with a game.

It’s been awhile since you can remember actually liking yourself. Sure, you have friends, a few at least, that seem okay with you hanging around, but there’s this little niggling voice in the back of your mind which tells you that their just bidding their time until they can dump you on some other unsuspecting fools. Then, there are the jerks that you have to spend every day with. The people from band class who you silently seethe about since they won’t shut up and you’re simply trying to play music, since that’s a part of school that you actually like. That one girl in all of your classes who never listens to the teacher and makes everything take an extra 20 minutes. The teachers that get mad at you because attempting to listen to their boring lectures sometimes (okay, always) makes you fall asleep. It’s no wonder that you don’t like school. Then, you find about the game.

You are walking with your friend Cal while he rambles on about this computer game that he wants you to try out. You agree, and once you are at your house, he boots up Sims 3. He instructs you to make a character, which can be similar to yourself or not, and to make yourself a girlfriend if you wish to as well. You then construct Edridan Dualscar, who you decide is basically yourself if you were six feet tall and had magic powers. Then, you create Elferia, who is based on this girl at school who would never give you a second glance in real life. Cal then creates Charlie Richter and Frost, explaining that he never liked the name Callum and that Frost was his girlfriend Snow if she had giant tits (as if you couldn’t guess, the idiot made her hair colour the same and everything).

Read more …

61 notes

An Intruder

Eridan watched quietly as most of the other patients enjoyed some time with their visitor; an occasional few had no visitors, but Eridan didn’t care to go talk to them.

In fact, Eridan didn’t want to be in the visiting ward at all. He wanted to be back in his and Gamzee’s room, writing some story about… whatever.

But he felt that it would be better if he came to the visiting ward with the other kids today.

He glanced around, watching some of the kids talking to their friends or parents or whoever. He caught Equius’ gaze, and looked away immediately, scooting away involuntarily; that guy was creepy…

Eridan was just about to get up and leave - screw his gut feeling or whatever - when a man burst through the door, grabbed Dr. Tongue Pyrope - she had been standing near Equius - hostage, then locked the door. Almost immediately, Eridan threw himself under the table, hiding himself from the intruder.

"Everybody on the ground!" the man screamed, and everybody in the room reluctantly complied, Equius hesitating for a second until the man turned and glared at him.

Eridan looked around; he had been the only one to hide in time and he needed to find something to use as a weapon.

There!

Some visiting woman, he didn’t know who, had been carrying a handbag with large handles that could make for a great bludgeon. When Eridan was sure the intruder wasn’t looking, he slid over, grabbed the handbag, then slid behind cover.

The man was talking now, his voice low and gruff, obscured by the dark mask covering his face. “Where is he?”

Somebody - Eridan couldn’t make out who it was - responded by asking who “he” was.

"The one with the scarf. Where is he?"

Vriska - of course it was Vriska - was like “Oh, you mean Eridan-“

"Edridan."

"Eridan. He’s right over there" she said, gesturing dismissively over to where he was.

Eridan would probably have silently cursed Vriska - not a fatal curse, probably a minor bad luck hex - but he was too busy processing what the man had said. Edridan.

How had they located him?

Eridan stood up suddenly, startling the intruder, who nearly dropped his gun - he had one all along, I should have mentioned earlier; he was pointing it at Dr. Pyrope. “How did Ts’serv’sses, Lich-Lord, find out I was hidden in this dimension?” he asked. The man tore off his mask, revealing that he was, in fact, the Lich-Lo you knoww wwhat evven i knoww this story glubbin sucks im throwwin it awway