Brainbent

We're all mad here.

188 notes

Calliope: Say Hi To The Snarly-Hair Girl While Mum Signs Some Papers

aG: I ain’t in the mood, Amp—

aG:  Oh, it’s Kreug… uh… the kid.

aG: Callie, right?

UU: ^u^

aG: Where’s your mom and dad?  Should you 8e running around outside alone? What if some perv sn8tches you?

UU: …

aG: I have no idea what you’re saying with that gesture, is that “My parents are 8oth 8eing savaged 8y St. Lo8af’s pet tigers,” or…?

aG: Paperwork? Is that… Paperwork? Yes? They’re fillin’ out a 8uttload of forms in there, aren’t they? UGH!!!!!!!! 

UU: *giggle*

aG: So you DO make noises under that thing!

UU: u_u

aG: What are you, like, seven?

UU: ^_^

aG: 8???????? Goddamn. That’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin’ young to 8e coming here. They treat you okay?

UU: …

aG: Haha, no, I get it. Same here, sometimes good, sometimes 8ad. 8et you wish you could run for it sometimes, huh?

UU: …

aG: Me too. Like right now, all I want to do is 8low this popsicle stand. Sneak out in the middle of the night, steal 8ack my N8ghthawk if Ricky hasn’t sold it yet, and just hit that freeway. I’d 8e in North Dakota 8efore anyone even knew I was gone. 8ye 8ye, cows, hello slightly fewer cows and more mean-ass rednecks. You know? Just say screw it to this whole place and every8ody in it, the meddling doctors and jerky exes too. They can all 8ite me!

UU: *giggle*

aG: No, I’m serious! I 8et you got it easy ‘cause you’re so little. Me, they push around.

UU: u_u

aG: Well, no. That ain’t true, exactly, more like an exaggeration. Not all the time, they’re not… Look, I’m in a shitty mood, okay? I had a 8ad day. 8ut I 8et you got it worse than me. I can still run my fu— my damn mouth a8out it to 8low off steam! You gotta stop and write it all down or draw pictures.

UU: …

aG: I used to get through the 8ad days 8y going out to smoke and think a8out running away. Just going for it. That’s what would get me through. 8ut you know what they did today, kid? They took my smokes! Look, they give us this shitty gum instead. It tastes like ass. It’s supposed to help you quit. Ha!

UU: u_u

aG: Oho! School propaganda machine got to you already? 8et you drew a really kickin’ rad poster sayin’ SMOKE IS A JOKE and got it put up in the hallway.

UU: …

aG: Hell, I’m not teasing, we did ‘em too. Mine had Jesus on it telling people to a8stain, for God’s sake. A8STAIN!!!!!!!! 

UU: ?

aG: It means not to do fun stuff, 8ut it’s, like… a special fancy way to say it to make people feel extra 8ad. I really liked that word when I was your age, for some dum8 reason.

aG: What a crock, though, all it did was trick me into 8laming myself for everything 8ad that happened.

UU: ?

aG: Aw, you know. Like how life isn’t fair to kids sometimes? Like, extra unfair, even, ‘cause we’re girls? And you feel like you just can’t catch a 8reak?

UU: u_u

aG: Yeah, I 8et you do. You 8n’t no dummy, are you?

UU: ^u^

aG: Good!!!!!!!! 8ecause you gotta stay sharp. Sharper than every8ody. That’s how you come out on top with the chumps. Don’t fu— don’t mess that up. Don’t 8lame yourself for shit other people do, not ever! You got that?

aG: Smart girl. Gimme five.

aG: Hey, you wanna come with me, Callie? I don’t got a helmet small enough for a midget 8ut we could pro8a8ly find one. Keep that masky thing on, you won’t even get 8ugs in your teeth.

aG: We’ll 8eat up all the sucky 8oys and rednecks and send postcards 8ack here showin’ everyone what a gr8 time we’re having on the road. You and me, the Terrors of the North. You can 8e the Green Snake, I’ll 8e the 8lue Spider. Whaddya say? 

UU: ^u^

aG: Hells yes!!!!!!!!

aG: Whoops, that’s your mama calling. 8etter get 8ack there 8efore she comes lookin’ for you.

aG: Shake hands? Jeez, you’re polite for 8.

UU: nn!

aG: What? 

aG: Something on my shirt? What? What are you pointing at?

aG: OH!!!!!!!!

aG: Vriska. I’m Vriska. I live here. May8e I’ll catch you next time you come by.

UU: ^u^

aG: Okay, yeah, cool. Nice talkin’ with you, Callie. Stay in school! Don’t do drugs! 

UU: ^u^

aG: …

aG: …

aG: Nice kid.

63 notes

HOW TO MAKE A FUCKING UGLY STUFFED BEE.

seriouspollynod:

seriouspollynod:

A while back I made a pattern for a fucking ugly stuffed bee, and a couple days ago I made another one for a tutorial. 
i WAS GOING TO  WRITE THIS, uH, aS TAVROS, bUT THEN I REMEMBERED I AM REALLY BAD AT THAT AND, uH THE QUIRK IS ANNOYING.

Over a year after I’ve made it, I don’t know how I’ve never posted this.

So, pattern and tutorial under the cut.

Read More

So I worked pretty hard on this a while ago and I don’t think anyone ever noticed. 

Seriously even if you don’t Homestuck or Brainbent, make one of these. They’re not hard and make the best damn pillows.

[oh my gosh, i hadn’t seen this one! sorry for not reblogging it sooner, seriouspollynod!

that looks so huggable, wow. i love the little butterflies in the pattern.

10 notes

Anonymous asked: how is time flowing in this AU? since it was formed quite a while back, do we assume a proportionate amount of time has passed for our residents, or no? curious because of aging and whatnot

[time only passes when the plot calls for it. for one example, Kanaya just decided to check out, but she hasn’t packed up yet.]

61 notes

Anonymous asked: What food do you hate but everyone else seems to like? (I hate baked beans but everyone loves them for some reason)

TA: carrot cake wiith raii2iin2 iin iit, why would you ruiin a perfectly good cake wiith liittle 2quii2hy grape turd2??
TC: HaHaHa GrOsS. xo) fOr Me It’S tHeM lOfThOuSe CoOkIeS.
TC: ThEy SiT tHeRe LoOkIn AlL pReTtY wItH tHaT cOlOrFuL iCiNg AnD sPaRkLy-AsS lItTlE sPrInKlEs
TC: BuT tHeN yOu BiTe InTo ThEm NaStY tHiNgS aNd It’s ClOyInG aS sHiT, mAn, AlL lIkE eAtInG sUgArY gLuE.
TC: ThEy AlL uP aNd BaKe ThEm FaCtOrY cOoKiEs Up Of FuCkOfF eViL dEcEiT aNd SaDnEsS.
TC: LoOkS lIkE sOmEtHiNnG sOmE wItCh In A fAiRy TaLe WoUlD bE aLl GiViNg At YoU, bEiNg AlL ‘Yo EaT tHiS sHiT iT wOn’t TuRn YoU iNtO a NeWt Or NoThIn’ HaHaHa.
EB: i got better!
TT: I often feel the same way about fudge. It looks nice, but the texture is incredibly offputting.
AC: X(( < Those gross gummy orange slices are the worst! They look so nice but they’re SQUISHY and GRITTY and AAUUUGGGHHHHHH
AC: X(( < AND WHY DO DENTISTS ALWAYS HAVE THEM??
TC: JoB sEcUrItY, kItTySiS. ;o)
TT: I find it interesting how so many of our dislikes center around food that initially looks enticing.
CG: OH, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT FOOD THAT LIES TO US?
CG: BECAUSE BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED ANYTHING CAN GO DIE IN A FIRE.
AC: X(( < ewwwww yeah
GA: I Am Not Fond Of Jello With Fruit In It I Ate Nothing But That For Weeks After Getting My Tonsils Removed
GA: I Cant Even Look At It Anymore
TG: i hear you im the same way with butterscotch pudding
TG: it has the color and texture of warm diaper batter
TG: and once bro bought an entire case of it and welp thats dessert for the next four months enjoy little man
TG: never again
TG: never
TG: again
GG: aww that’s terrible!! :(
TG: yeah
TG: what about you
TG: is there anything your iron stomach cant handle
GG: hehehe hmmm
GG: nope! :D all is welcome in my mouth.
TG: kinky

141 notes

7 Cups of Tea

Heyo! Just noticed your guys’ resource tag and thought I’d toss this your way.

For those unaware, 7 Cups of Tea is like IMAlive’s helpful kid sister. It’s completely anonymous, free to use, and connects you to a volunteer to talk through an instant messaging client. The main difference between 7Cups and IMAlive is that while IMA is a suicide helpline, 7Cups is an online counseling service.

As a long-time listener at 7 Cups, I’ve had all kinds of callers and been delighted to talk with every one. I’ve had all kinds of people, from those who really need to work though a specific issue to those who just had a crummy day, and all are valid and welcome. The listeners at 7cups vary from those at IMAlive because they just pop in whenever they have a moment, so you dont need to worry about wasting anyone’s time.

Drop by next time you’re feeling off!

NOTE!! If you’re suicidal, harming yourself, or in immediate danger this is not the place for you. The listeners do care, but are instructed to refer and bail if they believe this is the case for liability purposes. Skip a step and call a hotline!

208 notes

TA: so where are we goiing agaiin?

TA: what wa2 2o iimportant that you had two drag me away from candy cru2h?

TA: iis iit the laundry room?

TC: NaW wE’rE gOnNa Go sEe BrIgHt EyEs, ReMeMbEr?

TC: LaUnDrY rOoM cOmEs AfTeR. ;o)

TA: 2iince when do you lii2ten two iindiie 2ob rock, aren’t you iinto weiird clown rap?

TC:  HaHaHAHaHaHa BrOtHeR wHaT aRe YoU eVeN sMoKiN’? hElL yEs I dIg On ThAt KiNdA bItChTiTs TuNeAgE, bUt HoW’s ThAt BeInG tO dO wItH bRiGhT EyEs FoR?

TA: iit’2 a band.

TC: NaH, mAn, NeVeR eVeN hEaRd ThAt NaMe. I oNlY eVeR uP aNd WiTnEsSeD tHe BeSt WiCkEd LiTtLe PaInTsLiNgEr I eVeR dId SeE.

TC: ThEeEeErE sHe Is.

TC: SoLbRo, MeEt My GiRl BrIgHt EyEs. :o)

image

TA: oh, uh, hello liittle giirl who ii2 not conor ober2t.

UU: ^u^

TC: ThIs Is My BrO, SoLlUx. He’S tHaT cOmPuTeR wIzaRd I wAs AlL tO bE teLliNg YoU aBoUt.

TA: … computer wiizard, what.

UU: …

TC: OnLy ThE TrUtH. ;o) WhAtChA aLl WoRkIn’ On ToDaY? Is It CaTuRdAy?

UU:

image

TA: huh, that’2 cute.

TC: AwW hEcK yEaH, tHaT’s OnLy BeInG tHe PrEtTiEsT KiTtEn WhAt EvEr GoT dRaWeD. wHaT’s He GoT tHeRe, SoMe CaTnIp? 

TA: “heck yeah”?

image

TC: HaHaHaHa Oh NoOoOo

TA: what a douche, miice barely have, liike, any money.

TC: (SoLlUx CaPtOr.)

TA: (what!)

TC: (YoU mOtHeRlOvIn’ ZiP iT.)

TA: oh my g

TA: go2h.

TA: who’2 the 2word guy?

image

TA: aw, look at hii2 liittle fruiity cape.

TC: ThAt’S a RiGhTeOuS cApE iS wHaT tHaT iS.

image

TC: aNd WhAt’S hE aLl Up AnD gOnNa Do To ThAt MoNdAyFrIdAy FeLiNe FeLoN?

image

TC: HaHaHa hE’s AlL lIkE pChOoOoO!

TA: 2weet ju2tiice, lol. 222222uck iit!

TA: nnmph!

TC: My GoOd BrO gOt HiMsElF A bAd CaSe Of FrOgMoUtH, hE’s To Be cAtChIn’ FlIeS LeAvInG iT aLl wIdE oPeN lIkE tHaT. 

TA: mngh!

image

TA: ffhhffhfffh ffh ffh hh fhh hf!

TC: YeEeEaH, tHaT’lL lEaRn’Im.

image

TC: YeAh, I dIg. StIlL, ThAt’S a WiCkEd CoMiC yOu GoT. mAyBe yOu CoUld Be dRaWiN’ mY bRo TaVrOs OnE sOmEtImE.

TC: hE’s AlL aLlErGiC aNd sTuFf, SnEeZeS hIm Up A sToRm EvErY tImE hE aLl TrIeS tO uP aNd PeT oNe. :o(

TA: NGH.

TC: Ow BrO yOu WaTcH tHaT bUzZsAw GrIlL!

TA: pfah. bluh. fiine.

TA: yeah, that ii2 a kiick-a2tronaut 2tory riight there. thank2 for showiing iit two u2, kiid.

UU: …

TC: HeY, mE aNd SolBrO aLl GoTtA gEt SoMe LaUnDrY dId, BuT I’lL sEe YoU lAtEr OkAy?

UU: ^u^

31 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey Eridan, did you hear back from your therapist on the borderline/avoidant comorbidity thing? I'm curious because that really sounds like a friend of mine. They're also autistic, so maybe that screening's not a crock after all. I hear you on the media blaming it for kids acting out, and not reporting on the bullying and whatnot, but it's still worth knowing, right?

cA: yeah wwe talked about it last wwednesday

cA: bunch a guff about howw the exact diagnosis isnt wwhat the doc is all about especially wwith my age to be considered but wwould it make me feel better to havve it all explained

cA: and i said i guess it wwould 

cA: so he says theres another name for it wwhen you fit some parts a more than one personality disorder

cA: just personality disorder not otherwwise specified wwith blah blah and blah blah features apparently

cA: fill in the blah blahs wwith wwhatevver your other doctors put on the paperwwork originally

cA: theres evven a little number for it but i forget

aG: 301.9, 8roseph. How far are you even gonna get if you don’t learn your 8asic shit?

cA: hey vvris when exactly did pyrope die and make you the head shrink around here because im pretty sure i saw her tappin dowwn the hallwway not twwo hours ago

aG: Oh please, it’s 8asic survival in the system.

cA: wwhatevver

aG: You 8etter learn the game fast, kid, or it will chew you up and sh8 you out.

cA: wwhat game

aG: The only game there is. Staying safe in a crazy-ass world full of losers staring at walls. You’re looking at the master.

cA: uh

cA: huh

cA: So now you got your shiny new pdnos you wanna join the Cool Kids Club, right? ::::D

cA: wwhy wwould i wwant to be in a club wwith you or anyone like you

aG: F8NE!!!!!!!! Invitation rescinded. Go 8ack to plying dirty n8cho with the rest of the ree-rees in 8a8y 8onnet row. Just d8n’t come crying to me l8r when no8ody else g8s you and they tr8 you l8ke complete sh8.

cA: first off

cA: like i care wwhat anybody thinks a me

cA: and second youre the wworst person in here so wwhy wwould i go to you for anythin but a headache that lasts all day

aG: Wwah, wwah, wwah!!!!!!!! I’m gone.

cA: 8itch

124 notes

Anonymous asked: How's Dave doing?

tG: ehh

gG: cmon dave dont answer if you arent going to say anything!

tG: i dont got anything to say

gG: the fuck you dont! >:(

tG: okay well im both fine and highly dandy 

tG: wow i hope my picture looks good for when this news flash makes the front page tomorrow

gG: dave youre doing the thing again!

tG: the thing

gG: yes the thing!!!

gG: the thing we talked about in group?

tG: harley you did all the talking in group 

gG: EXACTLY!!!!!!! thats my whole entire point, you dickweed :P

tG: what do you want me to say

gG: whatever YOU want to say, dave! how do you FEEL?

tG: like it doesnt matter what i say because its just gonna sound stupid anyway so WHY BOTHER

gG: stupid how?

tG: i dunno 

tG: whiny

gG: dave you are the last person in this building i would call whiny. in fact its your stupid lametastic stoic act that drives people CRAZY!

tG: whatever dude

tG: it sounds whiny to me

tG: cuz every time i open my mouth stuff comes out that sounds like im saying shit wrong

tG: and im like no that aint how it was why cant i say it right

tG: christ this place is getting to me i feel like im losing my fucking mind

tG: ever since the hearing i feel like yall are watching me making judgments

tG: youre just seeing one side of the story

tG: it wasnt like that ok

gG: what was it like, then?

tG: my bro

tG: he did the best he could 

tG: people dont get us and and im not gonna help make things worse

tG: yeah okay so there were some problems

tG: at least he was there

tG: nobody else gave a fuck right so like

tG: im not gonna make him sound like something he aint just because he made some mistakes and it sounds bad when i try to say how it was

tG: sometimes its like im over in another part of the room watching me talk and im like

tG: what the fuck is that kid even saying it sounds so

tG: so bad

tG: and thats not

tG: he wasnt

tG: see i told you it was whiny

gG: look at you being mister wrong about feelings strider

tG: jade

gG: dave i want to tell you something important

tG: ok

gG: i still love my grandpa

gG: and kanaya and rose and the others, they still care about their moms and dads, even though sometimes i dont see how they can stand it

gG: i think everybody here gets what you are trying to defend and why!

tG: yeah but they didnt get taken away from their parents for telling the truth

gG: maybe some of them should have been

aC: :33 < what are we talking about?

cG: FUCK THIS DOUCHESUCKING HELLHOLE, THE CAFETERIA RAN OUT OF ALL THE GOOD BAGELS AND CAPTOR GOT THE LAST CREAM CHEESE. WHAT DO WE PAY THESE PEOPLE FOR?

aC: :33 < take mine! it has sesame s33ds!

cG: THANKS BUT I’M HAPPY FEASTING ON THE BAGELS OF RAGE RIGHT NOW AND THANK GOD THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THEM IN MY MENTAL BAKERY

aC: :33 < whoa strider how come your face is all blotchy

gG: oh um

tG: i went out in the sun without my flower bonnet

tG: fuckin vampire genes you know

gG: i was just ripping into him about it, skin cancer is no joke!

aC: :33 < well thats too bad, i hope you dont blister and get cancer and die!

cG: THEY HAVE ALOE AT THE DESK.

tG: thanks

tG: yall saved my life

3 notes

Anonymous asked: Can we still submit things for your resources tag? Because mentalillnessmouse has a lot of good things, and helped me through a crisis a while ago

[by all means, if you find a #resources-worthy post, please feel free to submit it or link it and tag it #brainbent so we can reblog it.]

26 notes

Anonymous asked: So Equius- how do you feel about Ms. Peixes?

cT: D —> She is a consummate professional in every way

cT: D —> Her attitude is e%cellent, her charts are impeccable, the residents are very fond of her and she never complains without a good reason

cT: D —> She maintains order with the young ladies on campus without being e%cessively aggressive toward them, and with some of our residents that is quite a feat

cT: D —> That said, I do worry that her wardrobe may occasionally be somewhat inappropriate for the setting

cT: D —> Though I have been instructed to mind my own “beeswax” on the matter

20 notes

Anonymous asked: Have there been any unfortunate sessions of slam poetry lately?

tT: It has been strangely quiet for days now. I’ve begun to feel a strange sense of foreboding, as if something terrible is building in the air around us.

cG: HOW CAN IT GET ANY WORSE, THE LAST ATROCITY ENDED WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS ATTEMPTING TO RHYME “CRANIUM” WITH “TREPANING ‘EM”

gG: its called a slant rhyme, dumbass, i looked it up and they’re completely acceptable in rap!

cG: UGH.

cG: NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.

gG: sore loser :P :P :P :P