CG: HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID THE MONTH GO???
CG: OH, I REMEMBER NOW. I HAD TO HAVE A LONG LIE DOWN OVER THE FACT THAT IT TOOK UNTIL ***APRIL 26TH*** FOR IT TO FINALLY STOP SNOWING.
CG: CG: FUCK YOU, MINNESOTA.
CG: ANYWAY, BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND:
CG: OH, ANON.
CG: ANON, ANON, ANON.
CG: THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING IS WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN ON APRIL FOOL’S DAY.
CG: GATHER ROUND, MY FOUL LITTLE GRAYFACED GRUBLINGS, AND I WILL DESCRIBE TO YOU A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF ANNOYING SURPRISES, A DAY WHEREIN NEW DELIGHTS UNFOLDED LIKE OBNOXIOUS, MANKY FLOWERS.
CG: A DAY IN WHICH MY RAGE VOMIT FLOWED LIKE A MIGHTY RIVER DOWN ST. LOBAF’S HALLWAYS.
EB: karkat ew!
CG: SHUT UP.
CG: AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED, EVERYONE’S FAVORITE FOUR-EYED BUCKTOOTHED PRANK WEASEL WENT ALL OUT. RED FOOD COLORING IN THE SOAP DISPENSERS. FUCKING WALL TO WALL DIXIE CUPS FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH WATER IN THE MENS ROOM. HUNDREDS OF BALLOONS CRAMMED INTO THE LADIES ROOM. HE MUST HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR MONTHS.
CG: I’M SURE HE HAD A GRAND TIME JERKING OFF TO THE THOUGHT OF HIS PRANKSTER’S GAMBIT BEING IN THE HIGH MILLIONS WHILE HE CLEANED EVERYTHING UP.
EB: hahaha i wouldn’t do that in the ladies room!
CG: YOU LITTLE SHITGIGGLE. WAS IT YOU WHO GOT STRIDER TOO? IT WAS YOU, WASN’T IT.
EB: hehehehe.
CG: I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN. YEEES, ANON, THIS DELUGE OF BULLSHIT BEGAN WHEN I WOKE TO DISCOVER DAVE’S SHADES HAD GONE TRAGICALLY AWOL IN THE NIGHT.
CG: BUT SOME GENEROUS SOUL DECIDED TO HELP A BROTHER OUT! FOR THERE, ON DAVE’S DRESSER, SAT A PAIR OF SPARKLY PURPLE STAR-SHAPED ELTON JOHN NOVELTY SUNGLASSES!
CG: AND OF COURSE DAVE WORE THEM ALL DAY LIKE NOTHING WAS OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
GA: I Saw Him Later With A Penis Drawn On His Forehead In Sharpie Marker
GA: When I Asked Who Did It He Whispered That He Was The Artist
GA: It Was Him
GA: With The Aim To Trick Everyone Into Thinking That Poor Dave Got Drawn On In His Sleep
GA: But Then Ms. Peixes Made Him Wash It Off With Her Makeup Remover
CG: PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS CHALLENGING TAVROS’ ROLE AS THE GAYEST PERSON IN THE ROOM.
CG: ANYWAY. EGBERT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE DESERVING OF MY WRATH. TAKE, FOR INSTANCE, YOUR ROOMMATE, THE INCREDIBLE TALKING DICKPIMPLE.
EB: eww
TA: ii dont know what youre talkiing about, KK.
CG: OH FUCK YOU, I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO PUT THE “LEAKED” MIDNIGHT CREW CD ON MY PILLOW.
CG: IMAGINE MY WONDERMENT WHEN I DISCOVERED IT CONTAINED THE DULCET TONES OF REBECCA BLACK.
CG: ***IT WAS SEVENTY-NINE REPETITIONS OF THE SAME FUCKING SONG.***
TA: ehehehe kiickiin iin the front 2eat.
CG: ASSLESS MC-CHAPS HERE ALSO DECIDED IT WOULD BE FUCKING HIL-HAIRY-ASS TO FUCK WITH ALL THE COMPUTERS.
CG: IT WASN’T ENOUGH THAT ALL THE DESKTOPS WERE PICTURES OF NIC CAGE IN VARIOUS LASCIVIOUS POSES, OH NO. THESE DESKTOPS WERE ACTUALLY SCREENCAPS OF THE DESKTOPS, WITH ALL THE ICONS MYSTERIOUSLY HIDDEN.
CG: MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES BRO!
TA: yeah your face wa2 pretty priicele22.
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
CG: THE INFURIATING THING IS I MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IGNORE THE IDIOCY TWINS AND FORGET ABOUT APRIL 1ST ALTOGETHER IF THE FUCKING STAFF HADN’T GOTTEN IN ON IT TOO.
CG: WV WORE PEPTOL BISMOL PINK FROM HEAD TO TOE AND PRETENDED TO BE PERPLEXED WHEN ANYONE ASKED HIM WHY HE WASN’T WEARING GREEN.
TC: hEhEhEH I tHoUgHt ThAt WaS fUcKiN fUnNy.
CG: WELL, YOU WOULD.
GA: I Saw Feferi Show Up Wearing Old Denim Overalls And A Flannel Shirt
GA: She Said Shed Switched Jobs With The Janitor
AT: dOCTOR pYROPE WAS OVERHEARD, cALLING THE ENTIRE AFFAIR, “AMATEUR HOUR”,
CG: YEAH, FUNNY THING ABOUT THAT. WE SPENT ALL FUCKING DAY WAITING FOR THE CACKLING RAINBOW TONGUE APOCALYPSE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
TT: Maybe she wanted us to do the pranking for her.
CG: I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED.
CG: BY THE WAY, ROSE, WHEN IS THE BABY DUE?
CG: I WONDER IF IT WILL HAVE MARYAM’S EYES.
TT: I imagine Mother will be thrilled either way.
GA: Did You Really Tell Your Mother You Were Pregnant Oh My God
TT: Haha, no, don’t worry.
CG: HOW MANY FUCKING PEOPLE ENDED UP PREGNANT YESTERDAY ANYWAY?
TT: Mr. Nitram, I recall you mentioning you were going to marry a woman who was pregnant.
EB: hahah, and then he pulled out this little egg that Davesprite laid!
AT: hEHE, yEAH, iT WAS A LEFTOVER EASTER EGG,
AT: aLSO, i THINK YOU MEAN PETUNIA, nOT DAVEPSPRITE,
EB: nope! davesprite forever!
TG: i dont know about you but im finding this whole egg laying conversation to be kind of fucking disturbing
CG: WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE.
TG: ninja
CG: RRRGGGHHH.
TG: you should look on the bright side man
TG: at least nobody got hardcore pranked
TA: ehehe yeah none of you can top la2t year, AA told me 2he wa2 donatiing her haiir two lock2 of love.
TA: ii 2till haven’t recovered.
TA: and ii never wiill.
TG: yeah well this daycare shit aint nothin compared to april 1st at house strider
TG: year before last i woke up next to a blow up doll
TG: it was dick fucking cheney
TG: bro taped a note to his abs that said “today you become a man”
GG: D:
AT: D:{
EB: D:
TC: Do:
AC: :33 < DD:
CG: OH MY GOD.
TG: yep
CG: YEAH THANK GOD NOTHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED.
CG: I COULD STILL STRANGLE VRISKA THOUGH.
TG: oh god what did she do
CG: NEPETA, YOU SHOULD TELL THIS ONE.
AC: XOO < RRRGGGHHHH
AC: :(( she told me at breakfast that grumpy cat got hit by a car
TG: what
AC: :(( < she said the whole internet was in an uproar about it
AC: :(( < i was really upset!
AC: :(( < and then she started laughing and i got MAD
AC: :(( < and gamz33 gave her a really dirty look
AC: :(( < and she said “oh my god lighten up can’t you take a joke?!” and stormed off
GG: >:O
TA: what a biitch
GA: Yeah That Was Just Mean
AC: :// < she hasn’t purrought it up since
CG: TYPICAL.
EB: i, uh…
EB: so what other cool pranks got pulled?
TC: HeHeH yOu ShOuLd TeLl Em WhAt JaDe WeNt AnD dId.
CG: OH GOOOOD.
CG: AT LUNCH, I FOUND GAMZEE WANDERING AROUND WITH A CONFUSED EXPRESSION AND A BIT OF PAPER TAPED TO HIS BACK THAT READ “clap if you think i’m way too tall!! XD XD XD”
CG: THEN HE SITS NEXT TO ME AND FROWNS AND SAYS “WHY’S EVERYBODY ALL APPLAUDING ME, BRO?”
GG: LOL!
GG: he noogied the hell out of me!
TC: i SuRe DiD. >:oD
TT: And then Equius had to pull you two giggling sillies apart and give you a lecture.
TT: While wearing a blue wig with pigtails.
AC: :33 < h33h33 I wore that same wig in my nyan cat outfit!
TC: MoThErFuCk, MaN, iT wAs LiKe TrYiN nOt To LaUgH iN cHuRcH oR sOmE sHiT.
GG: oh god i knoooow
GG: i thought i was going to explode!
TC: YeAh I wAs TeLlIn ErIdAn AbOuT tHaT sHiT aNd He WaS aLl KiNdS oF pIsSy AbOuT iT, hAhA. tHaT pOoR mOtHeRfUcKeR sUrE dOeS hAtE aPrIl FoOlS dAy, I dOn’t ThInK hE eVeN cAmE oUt Of HiS rOoM.
CG: OH, THE POOR BUTTON.
CG: SO YEAH, ANON, THERE YOU HAVE IT. THE WHOLE SORDID STORY.
CG: I HOPE OUR SUFFERING AMUSED YOU.
EB: hehehehe
TA: ehehehe
EB: hey karkat
EB: hey karkat
CG: WHAT.
EB: you should look out the window right now
CG: WHAT? WHY SHOULD— OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.
