You don’t want to be Eridan. Eridan does not want to be Eridan.
…You screw up the last six pages of your fifth attempt at Nano. It’s, what. The twenty-first. You still have time. You still have time, you always work best under a fucking deadline, it’s a sign of true genius as everybody knows. If only you weren’t in this fascist snake pit you could be doing this on your god damn macbook instead of in one of those dumbass marble-covered notebooks you used to have to use in the sixth grade, they won’t even give you a spiral-bound cause ooh, you might get it into your fucked-up little head to do yourself a mischief with the fucking wire and their shitty-ass computer lab is full of PEOPLE and you can’t concentrate there but nobody told you that writing fifty fucking thousand words by hand fucking hurts. Maybe you have carpal tunnel. You probably have carpal tunnel. Your life is pain.
You still have time. You can totally get your mystic prince out of the hole you’ve written him into.
You pick up your purple pencil again and scrawl ROCKS FALL EVVERYBODY DIES so hard the tip breaks, and then just drop your face into your hands and moan at the unfairness of the universe.
Because of growing up with a narcissist, you’re used to being criticized to death, and for the tiniest thing, so when you graduate from your university and get a job, it may hurt to hear negative feedback about your work. Because you’ve never experienced healthy, well-intentioned and helpful input from others about how you’re doing, you only associate feedback with hatred and oppression and shame and rejection and attempts to violate your sensibilities - your dignity - your humanity. Feedback was always to make you the bad one - the wrong one.
Other people — people whose parents were not narcissistic - give their children positive reinforcement and supportive feedback. Those people have learned to associate feedback with assistance - with helpful kindness. They won’t go to “crazy-land” like you will when they get their performance review. They will feel helped. You will feel attacked. They will feel curious. You will feel inadequate. They will feel openness. You will feel fear. They will say, “Thank you, I’ll work on that”. You will go home and cry.
And you probably do the only thing you’ve ever seen people do when they’re criticized - you get defensive and criticize right back. You have to, right? The person must be out to get you - that’s what feedback IS - a personal attack!
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GG: they come out just before thanksgiving here! everyone has been talking about them nonstop starting halfway through summer!!
TA: the company need two get theiir 2hiit twogether, 2eriiou2ly there2 an unmet demand here.
GG: i thought you said you were sick of pumpkin pie pop tarts????
TA: oh hell ye2, theyre na2ty.
TA: ii trade them two kk for hii2 puddiing cup2.
GG: exploiting his addiction for your own fudgy profit! i see how it is!
TA: iit2 CALLED a barter economy.
TA: look iintwo iit, n00b.
GG: n00b? i was translating Tsushima’s writings on Marxism with a pocket dictionary when i was eleven and i am pretty sure there was nothing whatsoever in there about overrated holiday themed breakfast pastries!!!!
GA: I Guess We Cant Just Take It Down Considering How Much Work It Was For Her To Draw It
GA: That Would Be A Tremendous Insult To The Young Artist
GA: Maybe I Can Put A Chair In Front Or Something And Just Move It When She Comes In On Fridays
TT: No need for the effort. I intend to ask if I can have it for my very own the next time I see her.
GA: Oh Thank God
GA: You Have Saved Us All
TT: You misunderstand. I’m genuinely fond of that piece. It shows incredible skill for such an early artist, don’t you think?
TT: Look at the creature’s eyes, in partcular.
GA: Do I Have To
TT: Those are the eyes of a bee haunted by dreams that would drive men mad.
GA: And That Attracts You Why Exactly
TT: Ah, well. Fortunately for both of us, I am no man!
GA: I Had Noticed As A Matter Of Fact
TT: So I think I’ll be safe from its hellish influence. But it really does need to work its special magic from the door of my refrigerator, once I’ve gotten myself an apartment, said refrigerator, and some colorful fruit-themed magnets to hold the art in place.
GA: Are You Thinking About Where You Might Go Next
GA: After Here
TT: I’ve promised myself to make no plans for the time being, but I promise you will be fully updated with my contact information long before certain other individuals know I’ve graduated from my program.
Edited to fix the dupe and add the “you have got to be shitting me” shot for laughs (it might be an “I’ll have another pint of gin” look, but I’m pretty sure I was doing “you have got to be shitting me”).